Let's Talk About Sex
by berrywarbler
Summary: When Blaine and Kurt decide to start having sex, Blaine freaks out and turns to his best friend for advice.  more Bike Chanderson friendship!fic for my own personal blainers


"I have a problem," Blaine practically shouted as he sat down across from Mike, handing him a coffee at the same time.

"Blaine, inside voice, we've talked about this." Blaine looked properly ashamed for approximately half a second before he started talking at a slightly quieter volume.

"I don't know how to have sex with Kurt," he busted out, and Mike felt himself turning a shade of crimson he was sure was not possible.

"Dude, I thought we had a _don't talk about sex _rule," Mike complained. It was a necessary rule when your best friend was dating one of your other friends, and you were dating one of their friends.

"Mike!" Blaine cried out, and Mike shot an apologetic glance to a couple at a nearby table. Blaine had a tendency to forget when they were in public. Like right now.

"Blaine," Mike said quieter, hoping Blaine would take the hint.

"Mike."

"Blaine."

"This is serious," Blaine pouted, and Mike sighed, waving a hand so that Blaine would continue to talk. The look of pure joy that lit up Blaine's face was amusing, and he started talking almost immediately. "Okay, so Kurt and I talked about going further in our relationship a couple weeks ago, and we were going to do that today, but I-I panicked."

"_You _panicked?" Mike asked, an eyebrow raised. Blaine nodded, looking upset. "I thought Kurt was the one with, you know, the issues being-"

"Well, he was, but we've been working on that, like-"

"I really, _really _don't want to know details," Mike interrupted, and Blaine nodded.

"Right, well we've been so focused on making sure he'd be ready that I didn't even ever think that _I _would be the one to stop us."

"Why did you?"

Blaine paused for a moment, hesitating as he took another sip of his coffee. "Honestly? Have you seen Kurt? He's so much hotter than I am, and what if I'm _bad _at it, and oh god he's going to leave me for someone more experienced this is a horrible decision I shouldn't be sleeping with my boyfriend I am only 17 and-" Mike couldn't help the laughter that seeped out of him, couldn't stop it from taking over and overlapping Blaine's freak out. He felt slightly bad that he was cracking up over his best friends meltdown, but Blaine was being way, way too over dramatic and-well, Mike couldn't have stopped if he wanted too. "You're laughing at me," Blaine said after a minute, and Mike nodded, trying to stop himself to at least explain _why _he was laughing at him.

"I'm sorry, but do you hear yourself? Most guys-well, okay most guys would kill to sleep with their girlfriends, but really most guys would just kill to have someone _to _have sex with. And you have, from a straight boys point of view, a very attractive guy who is crazy in love with you wanting to have sex, and you're worried he's going to leave you because you're not _experienced_." Blaine nodded, clearly unaware of what Mike's point was. "That's stupid," he clarified.

"How is it stupid! It sounds completely justified to me!"

"That's because you're crazy, and you get overworked-especially when it comes to Kurt."

"I do not," Blaine scoffed, and Mike just looked at him over the edge of his coffee cup. "Okay, but, really, what if he thinks I suck and he leaves me?"

"Blaine, Kurt loves you. And even if you do suck, who is he going to run to? It isn't like Ohio is exactly the gay capital of the world."

"Thanks, that was too sweet, what could I do without a friend like you," Blaine smirked.

"You'd have to freak out about this to Rachel Berry, who would probably pull out pamphlets and hand you a step-by-step guide to gay sex." Mike watched as a curious face appeared on Blaine, and before he could take out his phone and text her to ask if this was possible, Mike said "No. Don't do it Blaine. It is a horrible idea and I was only half-joking."

"Fine," Blaine grumbled. "What do I do?"

"You have sex with your boyfriend like a normal teenager."

"You're such a guy," Blaine mumbled.

"Thanks for noticing."

"Just-but-Mike-"

"Blaine, I promise you even if you absolutely suck, it's going to be his first time too. So he won't even know. Basically if you both get off, it's a success and everyone leaves happy. That's all you can aim for," Mike assured him, and Blaine looked up with scared eyes.

"Do you promise?"

"Trust me."

"Okay. I'm going to do it. I'm going to have sex with my boyfriend!" Blaine declared, and Mike winced as people turned to stare again. Blaine seemed to have noticed this time, shooting out a quick apology to those around them.

"I'm so proud of you," Mike said, and Blaine held out his hand for a high five. Mike rolled his eyes but indulged his friend, laughing at how ridiculous the whole situation was. "Just, like, don't tell Tina we had this conversation. I feel I don't need her asking anymore questions about our friendship than she feels the need to," Mike pleaded, and Blaine nodded, smirking the entire time.

"So, don't tell your girlfriend we sat here talking about gay sex? She's going to be so upset she missed out on that," he replied laughing, ignoring Mike's glare.

"I hate you Anderson," Mike stood, grabbing his coffee as Blaine did the same, his phone out and undoubtedly texting Kurt to fix the situation.

"Right back at you Chang."


End file.
